Safety awareness is an important topic to discuss as it relates to individuals with special needs and is a great worry for many parents. As children get older they navigate out in the world more and more. In an effort to provide or gain independence they are placed in many social situations alone and have to figure out how to be astute, as well as, protect themselves in each situation.
In many situations, individuals special needs have been surrounded by well-intentioned support staff, parents or other individuals who help guide them through life. These individuals are affirming and gentle in most interactions. However, in many other aspects of life there are individuals who seek to take advantage of people they see as vulnerable in one way or another. The vulnerability can be social awkwardness, lack of boundaries, inability to communicate, inability to defend oneself physically, lack of a social network, seeking social approval or being needy/desperate to be a part of a group. At times, it's simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
It's important that the individual who may have to navigate through these experiences understand that no matter how ardently the a perpetrator will try to convince them and others that they were complicit or responsible for what happened to them, they need to understand this is not true. Danger or dangerous people are a problem that seek to cause harm whenever possible. The desire or nature to harm preexist before the social scenario occurred for the harm to take place. Every situation is different and it takes some time to identify how to handle each situation.
It's important that guilt not set in as depression, suicidal thoughts or actions, as well as, attempts to harm others without taking proper steps for recourse can cause further harm to the effect individual.
Here are some tips for your child to be safe in personal or social situations:
1) Avoid talking to unfamiliar people - Unless it is necessary, it is important for them to avoid situations where others can more closely assess any vulnerabilities. They should avoid talking to strangers who are not identified as community helpers and if possible talk to them in front of a group of people. The conversation should focus on gaining information and at times providing basic information to complete an application or form. There are rare instances where they would need to go alone or be a part from a group to ask a question or gain information. In those situations they need to ensure they have proper distance from themselves and the individual and are positioned next to an exit. They should avoid any attempts to touch them unnecessarily.
2) Maintain appropriate social boundaries - Friends at times hug or give high fives, however, friends do this once they have known each other for some time and feel comfortable with one another. This means there has been a rapport built where they have had several conversations and enjoyable moments. A brief side hug or high five should be the extent of close social interaction with friends or strangers.
3) Don't wander off alone - It's important, if out in public, to remain around a crowd or stay near the group. In general, if someone is alone it easier for them to be attacked by a dangerous person. Being in a group can increase the chance of protection, witnesses and gaining more ready access to help.
4) Know who to contact in case of an emergency or harm - Remembering the phone number of a parent, being able to use a phone and understanding the function, look and location of community helpers can increase the likelihood your child will be able to appropriately contact the correct individual(s) when in danger.
5) Secure personal items - Ensure to carry an item where personal items such as IDs and money can not be easily accessed.
6) Keep personal information, private - It's important that your child understands that sharing their personal information (e.g. name, date of birth, address, phone number) can increase the likelihood that others they may not know well could easily find them or use the information to impersonate them. Personal information should only be given on forms of trusted corporations and the safety of the corporation should be verified by an adult.
7) Don't be eager - At times social isolation can lead to an increase need for social approval and to be included. Whether a person has special needs or not, this need is a prime reason many people are taken advantage of by others. Relationships and trust take time to build. Any one who is trying to convince them to trust them, ask them to do things that would harm themselves or others, or ask them to do things they are not willing to do are key signifiers the person may be trying to take advantage of them. If the person often makes false promises, lies or has a history of treating other people poorly they more than likely will engage with them in the same manner and may try to convince them they are not capable of harming them. This is a trick the dangerous person uses to earn trust. Your child should be aware that building a relationship should be on their terms and they should only do things they are comfortable with. Create a system of support and place with you or others you trust for them to feel accepted and have an avenue to enjoy life. This will decrease their need to seek social validation or experience "fun" with potentially harmful individuals.
It's important to practice the steps necessary to exhibit safety awareness. Don't assume your child knows or will pick up the skills by watching others. Have direct conversations about what is and is not acceptable. Practice with them in the settings that danger may be more likely to occur. Most importantly keep a non-judgemental and open dialogue with your child. As they grow older they will want to think for themselves and have more independence. They must know that you have their best interest at heart, can support them in navigating through life and want them to gain independence in a manner that causes the least amount of personal harm.
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