Many children on the spectrum have experienced this behavior from peers, online and in-person. Bullying can take many forms from mocking how someone speaks to physical aggression. It often happens to children with autism as they can sometime be seen as different or to have atypical behavior. When something is different or unfamiliar, some people may attempt to make it less intimidating by using humor or ridicule. At times, children with autism may not recognize they are being bullied due to their delayed ability to read social cues and detect sarcasm. This may lead to an oblivious reaction in some scenarios and an overly assertive reaction in others.
Recognizing Bullying
At times, bullying can be covert such as asking someone to do an action that will make them appear odd or awkward for a laugh. Others are more direct like an insult. Sometimes it may come in a form of an unconstructive criticism. To recognize bullying when it happens, it may be helpful for the individual to answer the following questions:
1) Do I know this person well or would I call them a friend?
2) Do they have my best interest at heart?
3) Does what they say or do make me feel ashamed, angry or sad?
4) Are they calling me out or attempting to make me the center of attention?
5) Are others snickering or laughing around or at me, specifically?
6) Is what they are saying considered unkind or is about something I am insecure about?
What can a child do?
When an autistic person finds themselves being bullied it is important for them to go to their parent, teacher, or anyone in charge and address it. By having teachers and parents working together they can try to make schools safer for all children. Parents of a special needs child are superheroes. Everyday parents are going above and beyond and are being responsive with their child's needs. Children shouldn't be targets because they are viewed as “different.” When explaining what happened it's important they remember to remain calm, speak clearly, state what happened concisely and ensure they state each person's name or description who was involved in the bullying incident.
Ensure the child creates safe and healthy boundaries between themselves and those who seek to harm them. It's important that if the bullying person is not willing to change their behavior that further communication and interaction is limited whenever possible. Bullying is an emotional experience meant to have the person question themselves and their value. It's important that a child talks freely to someone after being bullied about how they feel. They need to find a social group where they are accepted or get involved in an activity they enjoy. It's important they self-affirm and recognize the great things that make them who they are to combat the negative things others may have said or done.
What can a parent do?
Some ways as a parent to help your child if they are being bullied are to let the school officials know when or who is bullying your child or another child, educate your child about different forms of bullying, school members or wherever the bullying is taking place can be informed about autism and the characteristics of autistic children. In some scenarios, children that have autism and are being bullied are protected with civil rights laws. Bullying is considered as discriminatory harassment which is a civil rights violation.
For more information or support, you can visit https://www.stopbullying.gov/
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